Some no name brands are honest, they don’t play games. For example when you put your product in a blue package and write “no name” on it, well okay we’re all on the same page. However other no-name products are liars!

They are the loser at school who decided to dress like a cool kid one day, but we all know you’re not a cool kid, “President’s Choice”.

When eating Presidents choice products one quickly questions, “Which President?”.

That must be one shitty country.

(Then I would list off some shitty countries here, but that would be politically incorrect, so just fill in the place with a country you dislike)

Perhaps we start a brand of cheap foods call “Dictators Choice….. for his people”

(I’m looking at you Kim John Ill)

I used to have a joke about how confusing it would be if Kim Jong Ill got sick, newspaper reads. – “Kim Jong Ill, Ill.”

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I don’t know how to explain it, this is all really weird, but some times Friday’s don’t happen. It’s not that I’m dropping the ball and not writing a post or anything, just no Friday this week. I think it’s a leap year thing, blame the moon.

See you Monday.

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The tooth fairy was the greatest invention in the history of anti-bullying. In fact the tooth fairy was invented to stop little kids from getting in fights.

All the time as a child I wanted to punch some kids teeth out, but that would be a reward once they get the teeth. That’s why poor kids pick fights; they need tooth money for food. Ironically without teeth it’s hard to chew. Mom and Dad send the kids to school and tell them to get in a fight.

God help you if you smile when your Dad is drunk and needs another beer, the light bulb goes off and he grabs a few of your teeth. At least there is an overnight waiting period to get your money.

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Quick Rant:

Clearance Sales should be renamed for what they actually are “Shitty Stuff Removal”.

…THIS SUNDAY ONLY! PAY FOR THINGS, YOU WOULD NORMALLY THROW AWAY…

Sometimes Value Village has a sale, “everything you can fit in the bag for $5”

That’s not a sale, that’s you’re a garbage man.

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There are “courtesy seats” on the bus and train, if a cripple person comes on you’re supposed to stand and give them the seat.

That’s crewel.

A cripple person comes on the bus, and that first thing I’m supposed to do is:

“Hey look at me, I can stand” – That makes them feel different – Now I’m a jerk.

There should be seats we only sit in when somebody in a wheel chair comes on the bus – so they don’t feel left out.

Topically related:

Sometimes there is a sign that says “Wheelchair access temporarily out of order”
How convenient, today was the day everybody planned to stop being crippled.

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I saw an Ad for getting weight watchers online. (I could probably stop there and you’ll know what I’m getting at, but I will continue)

So I can now get healthy, without even standing up.

The diet guide would go something like this:

•    Sit in your desk rolling chair and
•    Do three laps around the office
•    Work on your laptop at the same time so productivity does not go down
•    This program sponsored by your workplace

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